“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”
I have this scripture highlighted in my bibles. In one bible (as I have 2-3) it’s highlighted with a star next to it. I figured I would need this as a BOLD reminder for someone who loves to plan for EVERYTHING.
Someone like me.
Throughout my middle and high school life, I was ALWAYS told to plan. Teachers, guidance counselors, my parents, and other family members drilled into my mind and heart about the importance of planning and sticking to the plan. Therefore, my future would be sure and secure.
Since starting my faith walk with Christ 7 years ago, I’ve still kept my ways of obsessive planning. While planning, I try to ensure that the plans I make are set. What I have planned, I have planned. A few of the plans I made did stick. However, I often run into this particular problem.
Instead of making all my plans tentative, I would start trying to help God write my story negating His plans for my life. Taking the pencil from God, I would try to fill in, erase, cross out, and edit how I think my plans should go based on my preference. In times of uncertainty, I would find myself doing this the most. Consequently, this gets me into serious trouble and starting a war I couldn’t possibly finish.
The War of two plans
The past two years have been full of uncertainty since moving from California to Florida. Plans that I had for life DID NOT look remotely close to what I had in mind. Struggling with the pain, confusion, DEEP disappointment, and doubt of God’s good plans in these two years drove me to the point of warring with God on whose plans were better.
As cringe-worthy as it is to admit, I’m finally learning to surrender by placing the pencil back into God’s hand to write His plans for my life. Ultimately, God’s plans stood and you know what? I’m okay with it.
God is revealing more of His awesome character and faithfulness during this tumultuous and uncertain journey. He knows that I would have NEVER chosen this path I’m walking on but reassures me that it’s for the best in accomplishing His greater plans for my life. I know this sounds like an oxymoron, but there’s freedom in surrender.
Surrender of my plans gives way to the greater plan that God has for me.
In my surrender, I had to allow myself and my plans to be broken in God’s presence as they were starting to take first place in my heart. If I say that God is the center of my life, these idols must be completely cleared making room for God’s goodness.
There’s nothing wrong with making plans. However, I DO take any and all plans to the Lord to see if they ultimately line up with His will or not. Whether I get the answer back (yes, no, or wait), I trust and have faith that no matter what plans God has for me things would ultimately work together (Rom. 8:28). Though it may seem painful, dark, confusing, not even remotely close to what I thought, they are indeed and will be good (Jer. 29:11).