I’m a dreamer.
Since a kid, I’ve always been. Oftentimes, I stare off into space daydreaming with my head in the clouds. By night, that’s when the REAL dreaming starts.
One of God’s more effective ways of personal communication with me is through dreams. God and I share a secret joke about me as a dreamer. I say God likes to speaks to me through dreams because, if awake, I like to ask a million questions. While in the dream, I’m actively doing and listening.
Years ago, before following Him, God gave me COLOSSAL dreams regarding my future that rocked my little world. It doesn’t happen often but on one or two occasions, He’s reminded me of a few of them. You can imagine my excitement like young Joseph in Genesis 37 thinking, “WOOWWW, GOD!!! You’re REALLY going to do ALL this…FOR ME???”
Fast forward years later, here I am still waiting, holding (with hands a little loosened) on to these dreams.
One or two have come to pass which, make no mistake, I’m extremely grateful and give God all the praise for.
However, there are many other dreams that my heart deeply desires where the wait has been so long. I’m starting to wonder if the dreams are lying dormant, slowly disappearing, or if they’ll even happen in my lifetime.
Some Christians would call this “lack of faith/belief” or “punishable” impatience in God’s timing. They’ll suggest that I need to pray or read my Bible more. Maybe they’re right to a degree. I currently do those things now (with fervor sometimes).
However, if I can be completely transparent, I currently find myself struggling in believing that it will happen.
Simply put, I’m in a battle with MAJOR doubt right now.
More than usual, I’m asking myself, “Am I sure God said this or that? Did I hear that right?”
Part of this frustration is remembering the dreams. Yet, I’m feeling like I’m steadily sliding backwards as they fade to mental images of yesteryear even with all attempts made in what God asked me to do. The disappointment, frustration, and feelings of failure is REAL.
Even those closest to me are starting to question what God told me.
This puts me in a position where I’m pressed to make a difficult decisions: to make a rash and permanent decision based on temporary circumstance for “peace sake” or to continue to trust God in the hardship of waiting.
In the thick of waiting, I’m not exactly there of me throwing my hands up with a resigned, “I give up!” attitude. But I’m finding myself getting pretty close.
Thankfully, by God’s grace, the Holy Spirit won’t let me go that far off the deep end. As an added bonus, He gave me this word to take comfort in.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time, But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.”
Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come…
It’s those words that add spark to my faith.
God sees and openly acknowledges the delay. He knows about the personal and spiritual struggles for the vision or dream to come forth. This may not make arrival faster but it does lend meaning to the wait…however long it is.
Though it tarry, with shaken faith, I will wait…and trust.