The Messy Middle: Navigating Through Life’s Transitions (Part 2)
*Hey reader, just a heads up. You’ll see some links in this blog post. These are NOT affiliate links. I just wanted to show the author some love and point in you in the right direction of where you can get her book :)
Transition is the furnace that purifies your life. Some things and people, while tried by fire, will come out as pure gold while others will get lost in the fire.
— Lindsey Capron
Loss is typically inevitable when going through a transition. Whether it be big or small, there’s always some form of it. How we deal with the separation and loss of what used to be makes all the difference of how we’re going to be moving forward.
I’m trucking along week 2 during the Bible study of Your New Now by Nicki Koziarz. In a vulnerable newsletter, I explained to my email list community that this Bible study had to be one of the most challenging Bible studies I’ve done in a very long time. I call it therapy sessions with little homework and lots of heart work. It’s intense but truly transformative.
In the Bible study, Nicki explains that transition usually has us in four places:
Development
Separation
Cultivation
Finishing (a particular season)
*Side note: I actually took a quiz on her website to see what season/place of transition I may be in. You can take Nicki’s quiz by clicking HERE
This week, as we focus on separation, I was strongly encouraged to face the losses and even learn to let go of them in order to make space for God to do the new in my life. I can’t say that it was easy but I realize how freeing it was to do so.
Our losses during the season of separation is the most painful because most times, what we’ve lost in our lives seems to be part of our identity. Surrendering those ashes from the fire of transition seems nearly impossible to give to God. These ashes can look like forms of friendships/relationships, jobs, financial status, anything we’ve cherished or held in high regard in our hearts for a while. With these gone, it feels like we’ve lost ourselves.
I can say from personal experience that FOR YEARS I’ve felt this way. It’s a strange, hurtful, and frustrating place to be. When I got married, it felt like God was playing a cruel joke on me (read my last blog post about this HERE).
As I experienced loss after loss, God was trying to get me to turn to Him. Though He wasn’t what I really wanted because I wanted my old life back at the time, He was what I really needed to help me navigate through my new one.
God wanted me to be the One I trusted, relied, and leaned upon. He wanted me to be dependent on Him and in my season of separation this meant removing any and everything (and everyone too) that would take the place of Him in my life.
Experiencing loss in a season of transition has a way of exposing what you truly rely on and the idols erected in your heart.
If you’re walking through the separation season in your transition, consider these questions:
Who are the people and what are the things that you’re still holding on to in the midst of your loss?
What would you want God to be to you in this season to fill the void of your losses and what you had to separate from?
Do you believe that God will redeem what was lost in the fire of transition? Why or why not?
What would it take for you to surrender, let go of the old in order to make room for the new and move forward in your life?
God is no stranger to loss. He dealt with loss as He watched His son, Jesus, die on the cross. But He’s a redeemer and takes the death and loss of one season and makes it glorious in the next. Your life may be tried by fire but if you trust in God and His process through this transition, even what was lost in the fire, He’ll have you come out as pure gold.
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